I’ve forsaken my pretentions and I find myself alone, a broken soldier against the glory and power of Heaven. I see no more angels fly. I see nothing but the sky and its threatening storm clouds. Without my baubles my hands are incredibly opaque and insubstantial. The solutions slyly elude my small fingers. Without my titles and names I stand alone, and my army is gone. My minions stand no more behind me, staunch and ready to defend the name I no longer bear. My fortress of security tumbles down to the ground in a mass of shattering glass, fragile and impermenent. I find myself standing beneath the vastness and expanse of sky, set aflame. My spark will not die. I cannot help but surrender to this fire, helpless to anticipate the explosion that will break my fragile frame, so much like a firecracker, so much light a bolt of lightening. All I can wonder now is- will anything be left of me after this violent quake? There is no peace in the stillness before the storm. If I surrender, will I survive? The horizon threatens twilight and the coming of night behind me, the wind blowing now ever harder against my eyes. I cannot feel my hands anymore. A chorus of thunder sings above me and the sky and earth are foreign. The rage grows stronger now. It is a rage not of my own. This rage pushes me down, pushes me into submission. My army is nowhere to be seen. I feel almost as if I’m in love, yet there is no object of my affections to be found. The armor I don has been shed, yet vulnerability has proved itself to be a frightening pretense. The weight of the years pushes itself down, imposing itself on me, forcing me still. I cannot run anymore. It is times like this I wish you were here. Your sweet words, your tender embrace, your gentle smile and lovely voice. I yearn to be taken from this tempest, plucked from this sudden, choking embrace of vast nothingness. This is how I love. This is how I miss you. |
